Well friends, nothing is ordinary or it's all ordinary. Choose your Paradox :) Here's a little share on me having the flu as a spiritual experience...but then again, what's not a spiritual experience? This Being Human Thing.
I've spent the last 7 days down under (as in the underworld of influenza and diving deep with my inner child). I could barely get out of bed, achy, awful. More snot than I've ever seen in my life. A massive purgative clearing! It has been a true practice of surrender. It rained for nearly the whole week here in San Francisco. I cocooned up in my womb room, read, slept, rested, went inwards with the dark moon. After a few days (my Mars in Aries) was ready for some action. So, I tried to venture out for a matcha latte and came home feeling worse than before. Again, surrender, rest. I ordered Instacart a handful of times to deliver groceries and wellness goodies. Felt grateful in those moments to live in a tech savvy city where such things are possible.
This week I felt deeply into loneliness, the kind that comes when you are not partnered or living near family. Embraced the knowing that the absence is making space for beautiful things coming. And asking, how deeply can I show up for myself? Love myself. Nurture myself. Sweet friends, of course, came through. They brought their bright presence, acupuncture, medicinal mushrooms, hugs. I sat with my inner child and asked her gently how she would like to be cared for, and nourished during this time? What did she need? How were these needs met/unmet growing up? Where is the root of this loneliness that especially shows up when I'm under the weather? How could I love her most deeply, now?
This has been my continued journey of Self Love over the last year. Diving ever deeper. Learning to show up truly and fully, healing familial and relational wounds. I felt into longing for things let go...a heaviness in my chest/lungs (grief). Trusting that this massive purification was not just a purge on the physical realm but also the energetic and spiritual. Evolving, shedding, growing, healing as a unified and integrated being. The work continues.We are here doing so much more my friends than appears to eye. Lineages of our ancestry lines, collective healing... and of course, the seemingly personal, intimate and sometimes painful places within ourselves. The work continues and today I finally feel lighter. A lifting. Sunshine and blue skies after a week of rain. Life is like that, ebbing and flowing, rising and falling. I continue to learn the art of dancing between darkness and light. Within myself and all experiences. Attachment and aversion. Pain turned nectar. A teaching. A fruit. Wisdom reveals herself....<3
Feeling so incredibly grateful for my returning health today as my natural, vibrant energy returns slowly. Thanks for reading. It feels good to share more intimately and authentically on this platform which can so often lend itself to surface level mindless nonsense or a barrage of puppy videos. (guilty!)
Here's to remembering that no matter what we encounter in our human experience, we can choose the lens from which we view it. See: rose colored glasses or the eye of the pessimist. In my case, wisdom seeker bridging humanity with divinity for my fully embodied & integrated multidimensionality and ultimately, ascension ;)